*** Press any key to terminate ***
(on 17 Jan 2011)
One of a fresh grad while exploring jetty server found this message ” Press any key to terminate ” on console. He spend a lot of time. I told what happened what are you looking for in this key board. He replied,
I am searching a key in the key board to press.
What is the key you are searching for.
He replied innocently – a key named “any”
*** Right Click ***
(0n 14 Jan 2011)
Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Desktop.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote click’.”
*** A New Project ***
(on 13 Jan 2011)
Programmer to Team Leader: “We can’t do this proposed project. **CAN NOT**. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can’t. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take this type of project.”
Team Leader to Project Manager: “This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don’t have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature.”
Project Manager to Director: “This project involves a design change in the system and we don’t have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it.”
Director to Vice President: “This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project, but with caution.”
Vice President to CEO: “This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances.”
CEO to Client: “This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame.”
*** Email Trouble ***
(0n 4 Dec -2010)
I used to help people in trouble shooting their problem especially related to web.
One of my neighbour came to me, complaining “I am trying to send email to this event at colledge but it is returning with error message”. She showed me the mail address he was attempting to reach. I asked him where he obtained such an unusual mail address.
He replied, “The sign advertising the concert said, ‘begins@7:30PM’.”